Success Your Way: How to Live Life on Your Own Terms
March 11, 2025
Defining success for yourself is the most crucial step in achieving a fulfilling life. Success is a deeply personal journey, and its definition varies from person to person. For some, it means financial abundance. For others, it is about personal growth. Strong relationships or achieving a specific dream are also high priorities for individuals. Without clarity on what success means to you, you can find yourself chasing the visions of others rather than your own. This guide will help you explore your own version of success. It will help you define and shape it allowing you to pursue it with purpose and confidence.
Why Defining Success is Essential
Far too often, people adopt societies or others’ definitions of success without considering what truly fulfills them. This can lead to a life that looks successful on the outside but feels empty on the inside. True success is about living in alignment with your values, passions, and aspirations. By defining it for yourself, you guarantee that your goals and achievements bring genuine satisfaction and meaning to your life.
Step 1: Ask Yourself the Right Questions
To define success on your own terms, start by reflecting deeply on what matters most to you. Consider these questions:
- What does success look like in my life?
- What areas do I want to improve or excel in?
- What truly makes me happy and fulfilled?
- Am I pursuing goals because I want them or because I feel expected to?
- How do I want to feel when I achieve success?
Journaling your answers can help you to gain clarity and reveal patterns that help shape your definition of success. Do not rush this process. Take the time you need to truly think about the answers that most resonate with you. How will you know if your answers are resonating? Simple…you feel it! You feel good, excited, hopeful and motivated! Go with this feeling – it means you’re headed in the right direction.
Step 2: Identify Your Core Values
Your values are the guiding principles that influence your decisions and priorities. If your goals and achievements do not align with your values, they will not bring true fulfillment. Identify your top five core values. Reflect on moments in your life when you felt the most fulfilled and content.
Some common values include:
- Freedom
- Family
- Creativity
- Integrity
- Growth
- Contribution
Once you have identified your values, make sure that your definition of success aligns with them.
You deeply value **family time and close relationships**, but your goal is to **build a high-powered corporate career that demands long hours and frequent travel**.
With these conflicting values and goals you can find yourself constantly torn between the two. Achieving career success can mean missing important family moments, while prioritizing family has the potential to slow down your professional advancement.
Recognizing this conflict lets you make adjustments. Seek creative or alternative solutions that incorporate both your values and your goals. Finding balance is not always easy, however working towards it will pay off long term.
There is always a way for those clever enough to find it. – Rick Riordan
Step 3: Challenge Societal Norms and Expectations
Society consists of various influences, including cultural norms, media portrayals, and even the well-meaning expectations of family and friends. The people closest to you—parents, mentors, peers—can have a profound impact on your perception of success. Their opinions, while often well-intended, will not always align with what truly fulfills you. It’s important to recognize these external pressures and consciously decide whether they support or hinder your authentic vision of success.
Many people are led to believe that material wealth, luxury cars, designer clothes, and social status define success. While these things can bring temporary satisfaction, they often fail to give us lasting fulfillment. The excitement of acquiring material possessions fades, leaving many feeling empty and disconnected from their true desires. Real success is less about external achievements; it’s about inner fulfillment, purpose, and living a life aligned with your values. When you prioritize meaning over materialism, you create a definition of success that sustains happiness in the long run.
To create a personal definition of success, challenge the traditional metrics and ask yourself:
- Do I genuinely want the goals I’m pursuing and why?
- Am I seeking validation from others, or do these goals truly resonate with me?
- What would success look like if there were no external expectations?
By detaching from external pressure, you can craft a version of success that feels authentic and empowering.
For more on limiting beliefs and conditioning you may also enjoy Break Free from Conditioning: Rewire Your Mind for Success
Step 4: Visualize Your Ideal Life
Imagine a day in your life where you feel completely successful. What does your environment look like? What kind of work are you doing? Who are you surrounded by? How do you feel? Visualization helps clarify what success means to you beyond material achievements and brings emotions into the process.
Don’t be shy about dreaming big. Let your imagination run wild like a child who believes anything is possible. Daydream about the most exciting, fulfilling version of your life. The more happiness and excitement you feel while visualizing, the closer you are to discovering what truly matters to you. Your emotions act as a guide. When a vision lights you up inside, it’s a sign that it aligns with your deepest desires. Embrace this process wholeheartedly and allow yourself to believe that your ideal life is within reach.
Step 5: Define Success in Different Areas of Life
Success is multi-dimensional. It’s important to define what it looks like in different areas of life.
- Career & Finances – What level of professional fulfillment and financial stability do you want?
- Relationships – What kind of relationships contribute to your sense of success?
- Personal Growth – How do you want to evolve mentally, emotionally, and spiritually?
- Health & Well-being – What physical and mental state aligns with your success vision?
- Impact & Legacy – What kind of difference do you want to make in the world?
When you define success holistically, you create a balanced and fulfilling life. True success is not about excelling in just one area while neglecting others: it’s about creating harmony. When all aspects of your life are aligned with your core values and vision, you experience deeper satisfaction and long-term fulfillment. A holistic approach prevents burnout, reduces stress, and lets you to enjoy the journey as much as the destination. By recognizing that success is multi-faceted, you ensure that no single pursuit overshadows your overall well-being and happiness.
Step 6: Align Your Actions with Your Definition of Success
Once you have crafted a clear and personalized definition of success, the next critical step is clear. Align your daily actions with this vision. This means ensuring that the goals you set align with your values. The decisions you make should align with your desired outcomes. The way you spend your time should mirror what you’ve defined as success.
It’s not just about setting big, lofty goals, but taking consistent, small actions that directly move you toward that vision. To keep you are on track, create regular checkpoints where you assess if you are still aligned with your goals. This can be weekly, monthly, or quarterly reflections. Ask yourself questions like: “Am I spending my time in a way that matches my priorities?” or “Are the habits I’ve developed helping me move closer to my definition of success?” Regular check-ins help keep you accountable and make adjustments. This will help to ensure that your actions are purposeful and contributing to the life you want to create.
Step 7: Accept that Success Can Evolve
It’s important to acknowledge that your definition of success is not static. It will evolve as you continue to grow and experience life. As you face new challenges, achieve milestones, or explore different passions, your values, priorities, and what you find meaningful can change. For instance, a person can initially define success as achieving a high position in their career. However later, they find that personal fulfillment and spending time with loved ones is more meaningful to them.
This evolution is completely normal and part of the process of personal growth. Just as you reassess your goals, your definition of success deserves to be reassessed too. Life is fluid, and so are the aspects that make us feel successful. Regularly revisiting and adjusting your definition ensures that you’re still pursuing a vision that reflects your current self and aspirations. The key is to remain flexible and open to change while continuing to pursue a fulfilling and meaningful life.
Conclusion
Success is not a one-size-fits-all concept. It is deeply personal and should be defined based on your values, passions, and life goals. Take the time to reflect on what matters to you. Question societal norms. Align your actions with your personal vision. In doing so, you create a fulfilling and meaningful path to success. One that is truly your own.
